TRIUNE LOVE—TESTIMONY and the story of Adam Crawford's injury in
April 1981. Written by Debbie Crawford, mother of Adam Crawford.
Present to the Presbyterian Church in Campbellville in the spring of 2003.
TRIUNE LOVE—TESTIMONY
Theme: 1Cor.15—Christian Hope—The Resurrection—Completion in Jesus
Gary asked me a few weeks ago if I’d share with you, my experience in the Triune Love Group. It was difficult for
me to decide what to speak about because there was so much that I learned during those six weeks and have
applied to my life. Participating in the Alpha Course and Sermon-on-the-Mount are just two examples of where God
led me to co-create with Him in bringing His love and message to the world and help in changing lives. These
experiences also stretched me in directions I wasn’t always comfortable in going but through them I’ve seen where I
needed to grow.
As a group, we discussed that in order to love freely, as Jesus loved, we need to let go of any fears—past, present
& future. I came to realize that in order to experience true freedom, I needed to forgive God, myself & others. It
became apparent to me that I had some work to do.
Gary challenged us to move beyond a mere learning experience & to take this new knowledge and commit it to
action. Consider he said: ‘Where and how do you want to create more love in your life?’ We were to begin thinking
of a personal love project.
My personal love project began on April 27th, 1981 and continues on today. What’s unique about this project was
that I didn’t choose it, God assigned it to me. But I did have the choice of accepting or rejecting His help.
When my youngest son Adam was 3 years old, he woke one morning not in the best of spirits. He didn’t want to eat
and was feeling feverish. Typically, I gave him Tylenol and began to monitor him. After lunch, he slept for most of
the afternoon but when he awoke from his nap things had not improved. In fact, he was getting worse. He was
making wheezing sounds when he breathed and bubbles of saliva formed from his mouth as he exhaled. When I
tried to give him juice, he’d spit it back up.
When Adam’s father got home, we went directly to the emergency room of the hospital, rather than wait for our
doctor’s office to open for evening hours. During the examination, Adam started to choke; he turned blue and went
unconscious in my arms. I screamed, “Somebody do something, I’ve lost him.” I was quickly whisked away to the
waiting room. I was so fearful for Adam. I tried to pray the prayers I’d memorized from my Catholic upbringing, but
couldn’t remember the words, so I just prayed, “Please God, let Adam be okay.”
After what seemed liked an eternity the doctors came out to tell us that our son was in trouble. The respiratory
arrest was a result of epiglottitis. They had tried to intubate him but it was unsuccessful. His airway had been
completely blocked, so they had to perform a tracheotomy. The ENT specialist on call had been in Toronto and
had to drive back to Mississauga to perform the procedure. In the meantime, Adam had lost a great deal of oxygen
and he had suffered severe brain-damage. He was being transferred to Sick Kid’s and the next 24 hours were
critical.
I was terrified. How could this have happened? I never realized he was so sick. The doctor’s tried to ease my mind
by saying epiglottis isn’t easy to diagnose in the early stages. Had I seen our family doctor earlier he may have
sent us home with a prescription for antibiotics that wouldn’t have helped Adam at this point. Adam could have had
the arrest at home and died. I was off the hook in the doctor’s eyes, but in my eyes I was the guilty one. I should
have gotten him to the hospital sooner. Maybe this never would have happened.
As we drove from Mississauga to Sick Kid’s, my mind envisioned making funeral arrangements and a tiny white
casket. I wondered if I should be calling a priest for the ‘Anointing of the Sick’ and I started feeling guilty that I hadn’
t been going to church. If I called they wouldn’t even know who I was.
This time I prayed, “Dear God, if Adam lives, please give him quality of life. He shouldn’t have to suffer. If not he’s
Yours.” Adam’s life was in God’s hands now and strangely enough I felt a sense of peace.
A Christian couple, in our neighbourhood, asked if they could come to the hospital to pray for Adam. I agreed. Sue
and Bill were Pentecostal and had been very open in sharing their faith with me. It was through them that I came to
know Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour. At this point, there wasn’t anything else the medical profession could
do for Adam. I had entrusted him to the Lord.
As Sue and Bill laid hands on Adam and prayed, his whole body shook as if a surge of electricity was moving
through him. When returned the next day, the trache tube in his throat had been removed along with the other
tubes that were supporting his body. The doctor’s said there had been a definite change in Adam’s condition.
Time would tell what areas of Adam’s functioning would be impaired. There were no guarantees. His body was as
limp as a rag-doll and he was still semi-comatose. One morning, I asked a young intern about Adam. In his opinion,
we should consider putting Adam in an institution. “After all”, he said, “there was the rest of the family to think about
& Adam would require a lot of care.” I was anxious about looking after Adam, but I knew in my heart, an institution
would not be my choice. He wouldn’t reach his highest potential there. He needed to come home where he would
be loved and supported. I was so angry that this person would suggest separating Adam from his family. Where
was his faith?
So Adam came home after 6 weeks in the hospital. It was like bringing home a newborn baby but without the joy.
His body had to be propped up with rolled-up towels when he sat, he couldn’t walk or talk. He had to be fed and
diapered. Three times a week, we drove to Erinoak Treatment Centre for therapy. At night as he slept, I’d
sometimes go into his room and lay my hands on his back and pray for God’s complete healing.
I started to read the Bible. In Hebrews I read, “Lift up your tired hands, then, and strengthen your trembling knees!
Keep walking on straight paths, so that the lame foot may not be disabled, but instead be healed.” It filled me with
hope.
Over the years, Adam relearned much of what had been taken away from him. He still has some physical and
cognitive challenges. His left leg drags when he walks and he’s has difficulty learning to read, except for the hockey
and baseball scores. But the fact that Adam is even alive today is a miracle in itself. Adam had been without
oxygen for approximately 20 minutes. No doctor would have speculated his progress would have come this far.
Adam is going to be 26 in January. He has a part-time job at Milton District Hospital which he’s very proud of. He
participates in sledge hockey, a modified form of hockey for the disabled. He is witty and has a wonderful sense of
humour. He can carry on a conversation and he has a sensitive, warm spirit.
Sharing my life with Adam has increased my faith beyond measure. In loving Adam, I have received so much love in
return. He makes me laugh. I feel the joy and peace of Christ when I’m with him. His essence is pure love. In Adam,
I see the face of Jesus because in his weakness, he is strong. I’m so thankful that God gave me the privilege to be
his mom. God answered my prayer. Adam has a wonderful quality of life—he’s able to give and receive
unconditional love. Adam is healed in ways we cannot see.
My involvement in the Triune Love Group, helped me to acknowledge that I still needed to forgive myself for the
guilt I’ve carried about Adam’s circumstances. God loves me and wants me to be free to receive His love. I choose
not to look back at what might have been. I’m choosing not to live in fear of Adam’s future. God has been with us
through it all and He’s not going to abandon us. My hope is that one day we’ll all stand together before the Lord
and see Adam’s earthly body transfigured into the perfection God sees in Him today, through his Son, Jesus.
That is where this talk had ended but as I woke up this morning I wondered, did Adam have a choice? I like to think
that in that period when he hovered between life and death, as the doctors frantically worked to save him, that the
Lord presented Adam with a choice. That God showed Adam the bigger picture. That by returning as a
handicapped child, he had the opportunity co-create with God in bringing His love and message to the world and
change lives?
One of the questions that came up frequently over the Alpha Course was. “Why does God allow suffering?” I can
say now with conviction that God allows suffering so we can be healed.
April 1981. Written by Debbie Crawford, mother of Adam Crawford.
Present to the Presbyterian Church in Campbellville in the spring of 2003.
TRIUNE LOVE—TESTIMONY
Theme: 1Cor.15—Christian Hope—The Resurrection—Completion in Jesus
Gary asked me a few weeks ago if I’d share with you, my experience in the Triune Love Group. It was difficult for
me to decide what to speak about because there was so much that I learned during those six weeks and have
applied to my life. Participating in the Alpha Course and Sermon-on-the-Mount are just two examples of where God
led me to co-create with Him in bringing His love and message to the world and help in changing lives. These
experiences also stretched me in directions I wasn’t always comfortable in going but through them I’ve seen where I
needed to grow.
As a group, we discussed that in order to love freely, as Jesus loved, we need to let go of any fears—past, present
& future. I came to realize that in order to experience true freedom, I needed to forgive God, myself & others. It
became apparent to me that I had some work to do.
Gary challenged us to move beyond a mere learning experience & to take this new knowledge and commit it to
action. Consider he said: ‘Where and how do you want to create more love in your life?’ We were to begin thinking
of a personal love project.
My personal love project began on April 27th, 1981 and continues on today. What’s unique about this project was
that I didn’t choose it, God assigned it to me. But I did have the choice of accepting or rejecting His help.
When my youngest son Adam was 3 years old, he woke one morning not in the best of spirits. He didn’t want to eat
and was feeling feverish. Typically, I gave him Tylenol and began to monitor him. After lunch, he slept for most of
the afternoon but when he awoke from his nap things had not improved. In fact, he was getting worse. He was
making wheezing sounds when he breathed and bubbles of saliva formed from his mouth as he exhaled. When I
tried to give him juice, he’d spit it back up.
When Adam’s father got home, we went directly to the emergency room of the hospital, rather than wait for our
doctor’s office to open for evening hours. During the examination, Adam started to choke; he turned blue and went
unconscious in my arms. I screamed, “Somebody do something, I’ve lost him.” I was quickly whisked away to the
waiting room. I was so fearful for Adam. I tried to pray the prayers I’d memorized from my Catholic upbringing, but
couldn’t remember the words, so I just prayed, “Please God, let Adam be okay.”
After what seemed liked an eternity the doctors came out to tell us that our son was in trouble. The respiratory
arrest was a result of epiglottitis. They had tried to intubate him but it was unsuccessful. His airway had been
completely blocked, so they had to perform a tracheotomy. The ENT specialist on call had been in Toronto and
had to drive back to Mississauga to perform the procedure. In the meantime, Adam had lost a great deal of oxygen
and he had suffered severe brain-damage. He was being transferred to Sick Kid’s and the next 24 hours were
critical.
I was terrified. How could this have happened? I never realized he was so sick. The doctor’s tried to ease my mind
by saying epiglottis isn’t easy to diagnose in the early stages. Had I seen our family doctor earlier he may have
sent us home with a prescription for antibiotics that wouldn’t have helped Adam at this point. Adam could have had
the arrest at home and died. I was off the hook in the doctor’s eyes, but in my eyes I was the guilty one. I should
have gotten him to the hospital sooner. Maybe this never would have happened.
As we drove from Mississauga to Sick Kid’s, my mind envisioned making funeral arrangements and a tiny white
casket. I wondered if I should be calling a priest for the ‘Anointing of the Sick’ and I started feeling guilty that I hadn’
t been going to church. If I called they wouldn’t even know who I was.
This time I prayed, “Dear God, if Adam lives, please give him quality of life. He shouldn’t have to suffer. If not he’s
Yours.” Adam’s life was in God’s hands now and strangely enough I felt a sense of peace.
A Christian couple, in our neighbourhood, asked if they could come to the hospital to pray for Adam. I agreed. Sue
and Bill were Pentecostal and had been very open in sharing their faith with me. It was through them that I came to
know Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour. At this point, there wasn’t anything else the medical profession could
do for Adam. I had entrusted him to the Lord.
As Sue and Bill laid hands on Adam and prayed, his whole body shook as if a surge of electricity was moving
through him. When returned the next day, the trache tube in his throat had been removed along with the other
tubes that were supporting his body. The doctor’s said there had been a definite change in Adam’s condition.
Time would tell what areas of Adam’s functioning would be impaired. There were no guarantees. His body was as
limp as a rag-doll and he was still semi-comatose. One morning, I asked a young intern about Adam. In his opinion,
we should consider putting Adam in an institution. “After all”, he said, “there was the rest of the family to think about
& Adam would require a lot of care.” I was anxious about looking after Adam, but I knew in my heart, an institution
would not be my choice. He wouldn’t reach his highest potential there. He needed to come home where he would
be loved and supported. I was so angry that this person would suggest separating Adam from his family. Where
was his faith?
So Adam came home after 6 weeks in the hospital. It was like bringing home a newborn baby but without the joy.
His body had to be propped up with rolled-up towels when he sat, he couldn’t walk or talk. He had to be fed and
diapered. Three times a week, we drove to Erinoak Treatment Centre for therapy. At night as he slept, I’d
sometimes go into his room and lay my hands on his back and pray for God’s complete healing.
I started to read the Bible. In Hebrews I read, “Lift up your tired hands, then, and strengthen your trembling knees!
Keep walking on straight paths, so that the lame foot may not be disabled, but instead be healed.” It filled me with
hope.
Over the years, Adam relearned much of what had been taken away from him. He still has some physical and
cognitive challenges. His left leg drags when he walks and he’s has difficulty learning to read, except for the hockey
and baseball scores. But the fact that Adam is even alive today is a miracle in itself. Adam had been without
oxygen for approximately 20 minutes. No doctor would have speculated his progress would have come this far.
Adam is going to be 26 in January. He has a part-time job at Milton District Hospital which he’s very proud of. He
participates in sledge hockey, a modified form of hockey for the disabled. He is witty and has a wonderful sense of
humour. He can carry on a conversation and he has a sensitive, warm spirit.
Sharing my life with Adam has increased my faith beyond measure. In loving Adam, I have received so much love in
return. He makes me laugh. I feel the joy and peace of Christ when I’m with him. His essence is pure love. In Adam,
I see the face of Jesus because in his weakness, he is strong. I’m so thankful that God gave me the privilege to be
his mom. God answered my prayer. Adam has a wonderful quality of life—he’s able to give and receive
unconditional love. Adam is healed in ways we cannot see.
My involvement in the Triune Love Group, helped me to acknowledge that I still needed to forgive myself for the
guilt I’ve carried about Adam’s circumstances. God loves me and wants me to be free to receive His love. I choose
not to look back at what might have been. I’m choosing not to live in fear of Adam’s future. God has been with us
through it all and He’s not going to abandon us. My hope is that one day we’ll all stand together before the Lord
and see Adam’s earthly body transfigured into the perfection God sees in Him today, through his Son, Jesus.
That is where this talk had ended but as I woke up this morning I wondered, did Adam have a choice? I like to think
that in that period when he hovered between life and death, as the doctors frantically worked to save him, that the
Lord presented Adam with a choice. That God showed Adam the bigger picture. That by returning as a
handicapped child, he had the opportunity co-create with God in bringing His love and message to the world and
change lives?
One of the questions that came up frequently over the Alpha Course was. “Why does God allow suffering?” I can
say now with conviction that God allows suffering so we can be healed.
